So this is it!

*smirk* This is the place where a good deal of my stories and ideas rest. If my place goes up in a fire tomorrow so will my ideas and stories. You might as well stick a fork in me because I would be done! Ok, ok, ok! Perhaps that is a bit dramatic. I’ve always been an internal dramatist.

I went through a few of the loose pages, scraps and napkins and found so many stories this past weekend. More than I had originally thought. What I thought was one story turned out to be more. AND AND AND!!! I am so excited! I have a name for a character that has been floating around in my head for the longest time. He is a charming devil and just this past Friday a name came to me and I saw his face. That damn man winked his approval at me! *chuckle* Then he gave me a few paragraphs of his story. Just a few, not enough to tell me who he is or what he is up to besides finding a warm bed for the night and of course someone to share it with. *chuckle* I do believe he is going to be a lot of fun to play with.

Yes, I know it sounds crazy but my characters, especially the male ones, are very alive in my head. They clamor for attention while I’m trying to sleep or listen to music or just relax. They want their stories to be told and they won’t go away until I do. I think that is why there are so many scraps of paper around. In fact I know that is why there are so many scraps of paper around. If a scene keeps playing and playing and playing…I’ve got scenes that have been playing in my head for years, then I’ll write it down to get some quiet.

No, it isn’t against my will. Usually there is something missing and I’m waiting for the pieces to click.
There is a story that I’ve had in my head since I was a kid. I don’t think I could have been more than 8-9 when I thought up the main character, a girl. She has changed, evolved and grown as I have. I know her far better than I know myself. I’ve got a bit of her story but I think I am waiting for the both of us to mature just a bit more. See, she is much older than I am. I don’t know why that matters but it does. Strangely enough, the ladies in my head are a lot more reserved and quiet, bless their imaginary hearts. They save their drama for the pages.

This is the inside. A shameful mess. I’m working on it. I found the beginning of a story and I don’t know when I wrote it, who it is about but I’ve got at least three characters already. *smh*

Tatiana Caldwell (TC), the authoress, is gonna strangle me.  I told TC that I have story ideas and even bits of stories written on napkins. She is the first person I've ever admitted that to. I am a wonderful keeper of secrets so it amazed me that I shared that with her.

The picture above is a stained napkin but the idea written on it is *singing first soprano* AWESOME!!!! Well, at least I think it is. I have no idea why I haven’t written this story up yet. It is done in my head. It is a fairly simple and straightforward story. *Spock brow* I think I shall start with that story. Because the story taking up most of my leisure hours these days is proving stubborn. Then my characters would probably say, if I let them, that I am proving stubborn. *smirk*

I love the whole story telling process and my muse (hope I get to meet him/her one day) but my own prejudices and experiences tend to creep in. Sometimes it is called for and sometimes not and then I have to go back to the drawing board. I am constantly reminding myself that each story isn’t about me. Therefore, what I would do in a given situation doesn’t really matter. It is about the characters in my head and on the page.  Not to worry because when I get it wrong I know. Everyone goes eerily quiet. Trust me, it is very unlike my mind to ever be quiet. It takes a concentrated effort for me to achieve mental quiet. So when they stop talking I know I’ve hit a snag.

Lately, the story I am working out in my head is babbling away a mile a minute. Still, there is something missing I think. Maybe. *ugh* Or maybe not. It is *insert French accent* a different kind of story.
I completed the whole novel only to find out that this is NOT how the story goes. *Charlie Brown missing the football scream* 140,000 words and that is not the way the story goes. *sigh* There was a very key element I was missing. I just got a piece of it. I hope more will come soon. In the meantime I’ll tell another story while my muse, ego and characters negotiate for creative control. *chuckle*

Looking through all these pieces of paper, I’d kind of like to strangle me my dang self. Page one of one story is on a very stained and fragile piece of paper. Ugh! There is a story I started of a man, dark, beautiful and as arrogant as Pharaoh and I forgot about this story idea ages ago. I have names for a few of the main characters and wrote out a bit of the story. See why I keep shaking my head at myself?

Then there is this dream that I had that I already know is a story to be written. I’ve written it down and have a general idea of where it is going but not why. Just yet. And my orphan story and…I think you get the general idea. I need to sit down and get busy.

Geesh! Good thing I don’t do drugs. If the ideas are tumbling out this fast with me stone cold sober I’d probably end up a raving lunatic under the influence of weed or something else.

I’ve got a huge 3 inch binder that is bursting at the seams with stories and poems. But I’ll tackle the file cabinet first. Maybe I’ll do the binder in 2011. *gazes hopefully at the heavens*