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Tuesday, July 20, 2010

This is where I want to be right now. Well, somewhere like it. This picture is actually from somewhere in the Honduras. I prefer that my paradise not include homicidal drug lords. But that is just me.

Anyway, I get the best ideas for stories just laying around. Problem is that I get this awesome idea for a story or scene and then I sit up in a eureka moment and lose some of the awesomeness. Does that make sense? Probably not. But then the ideas that pop in my head for stories aren't like anything else out there. Maybe I'll post a story or two. I got a whole novel finished that has been rejected without even a critique. *shrug* Their loss. That's what I will tell myself till the day I die.

I think, I just want people to read and enjoy my stuff. But what if I am ahead of my time? What if I am just mediocre? What if no one ever wants to read the stories that dance out out of my fingers and onto a computer screen.

I know I should leave What If Land behind but I am only human. No one wants to know that no one wants what they offer with all their heart and mind. A lot goes into a story. I put more time and energy into my stories than I have ever put in any relationship I've ever had.

Real talk: the friends I have are still my friends becuz they fought to keep our friendship alive. I don't have a man becuz I've yet to meet one that was worth taking myself out of my comfy little world that I've built for myself. I have my stories, my friends, toys and my internet. Technology is very helpful to the modern day hermit.

But see while my stories still belong to me, bottled up inside of me, on scraps of paper in my Idea Cabinet, or on my hard drive then no one can trample on them and tell me they are terrible. No one can tell me that I am a hack at best and that the most I can ever hope to be is a bad blogger. I live by words and they do hurt when hurled just right by someone as smart and clever as I think I am.

Perhaps perhaps perhaps...perhaps I'll be braver than I thought I could ever be and post something relatively soon...

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