#RatchetStoryHour 2014

#RatchetStoryHour 2014

1.31.2014

Greaaaaaaat evening Twitterverse!  I am back for another #RatchetStoryHour featuring my favorite fairies Shawntiqua and Booty! Here's hoping you're ready because my muse is hoping and ready to go! As always let me hit you all with my disclaimer.

Disclaimer: #RatchetStoryhour is written by me on the fly and by the seat of my pants/skirt/dress/or whatever I’m wearing at the time. So though I do give it a peruse before I tweet I don’t go into deep editing nor do I have an editor sitting by my side. Just ain’t timely. So I do ask that you forgive any spelling or grammatical errors. This is what I do to warm up my muse so that I can get cracking on my other stories. I know how annoying some folks find spelling and grammatical errors and I just wanted to say sorry in the beginning.

When last we saw our ratchet fairies Shawntiqua and her faithful subordinate Booty they were watching trouble on the bball court. And a little child was leading them down to the wrong dang conclusion. Lets join the fairies and DeAndreboo now.

DeAndreboo watched the game and his father alternately. He wore a confident little smirk not unlike his father’s.

Kianaboo worried herself into a stomach of knots. The more she watched the more she knew the fix was in.

Kianaboo thought: I should have known. The fix probably been in since the beginning. Why can’t this mofo let me be? I never did anything but love his trifling azz and this is the thanks I get for taking care of his son with no help from him. I didn’t even take him to CS.

Fat lot of good it would have done me anyway since a regular job he has never had. But they’d have locked his butt up and maybe I might have had a chance at being happy. Well I’m taking this chance. I don’t care if we lose all the money. Me and the kids are out.

Shawntiqua felt it all in the air. The desperation, the hope, the despair, and even the cheat. Cheating is pure evil in the fairy world.

Shawntiqua poked Booty and spoke close to her ear: The boy with the girl under the tree.

Booty nodded: I see them.  I feel him. He’s wishing hard but I don’t feel like it is for the right thing.

Shawntiqua: You feel how his wish thought meant for good mixes with the evil in the air?

Booty: That’s exactly what I’m feeling, boss.  So what do we do? Can we go against a believer’s wish? Won’t that mess up his belief?

Shawntiqua squinted at Booty showing sense: That is the difficult balance here, Booty. How to proceed. We are here to restore the belief in majic and not destroy it.  He’s at that difficult age.  I already know what he wants.  Now you tell me.

Booty’s mouth turned grim.  It didn’t fit her at all: He wants the guy they are letting flounder on the court to lose. But he’s wrong.

He’s better off with that guy than he is with the guy who set him up.  That guy over there. One who put all this in place for evil.

Shawntiqua smiled encouragingly: Good, Booty. Now what do you thing we should do? Quick cuz the game is almost over.

Booty looked at Shawntiqua wide eyed: Don’t put this on me, boss.  I ain’t ready.  I know I’ll mess this up.

Shawntiqua looked at her sternly as the crowd cheered and jeered the players on the court.  Folks knew a fix when they saw it.

Shawntiqua remained quiet. Booty cast around desperately. She couldn’t believe she was being tested with something so important.

Booty could feel it. Whenever evil like this was in the air, one wrong move and someone was definitely going to end up dead. DEFINITELY!

Shawntiqua knew what was what. Booty couldn’t ride her coattails forever. She had to stand on her own. This was her time.

Shawntiqua sent her some of her calm. Booty felt it and soaked it up as her mind cleared. She watched the players.

Then she saw it. The truth. That they could fix the game with majic and someone was gonna die. They could leave it be and someone was gonna die.

The question was who and how many. That was the decision that Shawntiqua was leaving up to her. Booty’s spirit sank some.

Shawntiqua admonished her when she saw the truth hit home: Everyone dies eventually, Booty. We weren’t born fairies remember.

We died and became fairies. So this won’t be the end for whoever dies. Just the beginning of something new.

Booty sniffled daintily: Yeah but, boss, I see so much light there if they can just get away from here. So much good there.

Shawntiqua: Yeah, Booty, I know. Choices are never easy but you gotta choose. Now.

Booty looked from the girl with the kids under the tree, to the boy by her side, to the man on the court, to man behind it all.

Then Booty took a deep breath and chose. She turned and sent a stream of nothing but pure luck at Vint floundering on the court.

Suddenly Vint had more speed and agility than he had ever had in his life. Where his teammates were lacking, which was everywhere he more than made up for it. He was like the wind and no one could get past him on defense or offense. He was a one man team.

His teammates even started to move to intercept him and make him fall and fumble but Vint was just to smooth for their plans and foibles.

From where he sat, Deadweight fumed thinking: So it seems this fool will die a winner after all. Don’t even matter. He’ll still be dead.

He looked over and spat on the ground as he watched his son’s mother Kiannaboo starting to smile and hope.

Deadweight thought: Bitch you should have stayed in the gutter where I left you. No one gets out of the ghetto alive. Not if I have anything to say about it.  And in this case he did. Luckily, his voice wasn’t the last voice to be heard about it. He didn't not get the final say.

Booty did.  And Booty said that Vint would win! Booty had a few more things to say before the game was through too.

Vint dribbled and shot like a multi-million dollar pro. He couldn’t believe how golden he was in that moment. In that moment he made a promise that he hoped he could keep. He’d never gamble again if he could win this game and set his family up in their new home and lives. It was the promise that made all the difference in the events that happened next. Booty smiled suddenly feeling how right her decision had been. Shawntiqua felt the shift in luck too. And so did Deadweight and he was not pleased.

Out of nowhere Deadweight’s current chick and latest baby momma came strutting into view and she was looking like a million dollars.

She shot him the evilest of looks as a big dude he knew came into view. Things just turned sour and it had nothing to do with the money he was about to lose. It had nothing to do with Kiannaboo or Vint. Suddenly, Deadweight was feeling just like his name was about to lose. It had nothing to do with Kiannaboo or Vint. Suddenly, Deadweight was feeling just like his name and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it. Suddenly he saw the pendulum of death swing his way. He didn’t fear it but he wasn’t going alone.

Deadweight thought: Fine. Eff it. No one lives forever but I'm taking some of you fuggers with me. Just a question of who stands next to me in Hell.

So ends another #RatchetStoryHour! I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed thinking it up on the fly.

Now that I’m aptly warmed up it is time for me to really get to work. Have a great evening folks!

3.7.2014

Greaaaaat evening Twitterverse!  I am back for another #RatchetStoryHour featuring my favorite fairies Shawntiqua and Booty! As always let me hit you all with my disclaimer.

Disclaimer: #RatchetStoryhour is written by me on the fly and by the seat of my pants/skirt/dress/or whatever I’m wearing at the time. So though I do peruse it a bit before I tweet I don’t go into deep editing nor do I have an editor sitting by my side. Not timely.

So I do ask that you forgive any spelling or grammatical errors. This is what I do to warm up my muse so that I can get cracking on my other stories. I know how annoying some folks find spelling and grammatical errors and I just wanted to say sorry in the beginning.

When last we saw our ratchet fairies Shawntiqua and Booty they were watching trouble brewing on the bball court.  Someone was gonna win big and someone was going to lose big. Let’s get to the court now.

Deadweight kept his eyes trained on his newest baby momma thinking: I knew I shoulda never hooked up with her. She keeps drama going. Deadweight whistled for her like one does a cat. She batted not one eyelash in his direction.

Deadweight’s current chick to everyone but him was Angulessa Zya-yasha Morton and she was a dime from head to toe. Angulessa strolled onto the court to prove a point. She hadn’t seen Deadweight since their daughter came home from the hospital. Word on the skreets was that he was still feeling ish over Kiannaboo. Angulessa was about to show Deadweight about feeling for exes.

Angulessa stood off to the side watching the game knowing all about the fix. Standing behind her was kinda ex. They still enjoyed each other’s company from time to time. His name was Johnson on account of…well never you mind why. It is just Johnson.

Johnson was a big dude. Not just big but muscular. He looked like he was swollen from his lumpy head to his sausage toes. Johnson was just huge for no conceivable reason. No one messed with him but Deadweight. Deadweight had been messing with the wrong sorta ex.

Deadweight whistled again. 

Angulessa ignored him again and said in her screechy ghetto accent: Johnson this why I messes with you. You know how to talk to a lady. 

Deadweight laughed loud: Ain’t no ladies in the hood. Definitely not on this court!

Angulessa squinted up at Johnson who stood calmly by. He neither knew nor cared about who was tapping her when he wasn’t around. Yet.

Angulessa: Johnson you gonna let him disrespect me like that? 

Johnson smiled and his whole diamond grill flashed in the summer sun. Johnson: Angulessa you ain’t no lady. I don’t mess with ladies and they don’t mess with me. WTF I want with a lady anyways?

He grabbed her dime booty and pulled her close. He glared a challenge at Deadweight who accepted without hesitation. Deadweight reached out for Angulessa’s arm to pull her away before he made short work of Johnson. Johnson swung her around and away just as the crowd came to its feet. There was cheering and shouting.

Deadweight’s hand hung in the air as he looked around and realized the game had just ended and Vint had indeed won. Vint’s teammates hung back giving half hearted congrats. There was trouble brewing from two different directions now. It was anyone’s guess how this was going to play out. Vint was heading over walking tall like a man to collect his winnings.

Kiannaboo was shaking her head no. She just wanted to get off the court. She knew it had been pure dumb luck that Vint won. Kiannaboo was thinking: Vint you fool! Lets just get outta here!  

DeAndreboo was thinking: Vint stupid! My daddy is gonna blast him!

Deadweight’s hand dropped and went in his pocket. Johnson looked Vint up and down as he approached hands in his pocket too.

Angulessa grinned and licked her lips. She’d gone to school with Vint. She thought he was hot but corny. He was trying to make it honest. Angulessa decided to stir the pot now that there was a new ingredient: Hey Vint! Long time no see. Whatchu know good?

Vint’s grin was huge! He didn’t think he could lose: I just won this game that’s what’s good. 

Vint looked at Deadweight: I’ll take my winnings now so I can get my lady and the kids out this heat.

Deadweight ground his teeth at the dig.  He looked over at Kiannaboo and spat on the ground not a half a millimeter from Vint’s feet.

Deadweight said: You was playing ball when I said ain’t no ladies in the hood and definitely not on this court!

Vint said: Oh I heard. I just ain’t of the same mind as you. All I want is my winnings Deadweight and me and MY lady are out.

Angulessa interjected: So lemme get this skraight (yes skraight) you fighting over this chick that done moved on?  Angulessa warmed to the subject as she stepped around Johnson: You set this ish up just cause she don’t want you no more?  

Angulessa: Fo’ serious?  Deadweight you really ain’t worth my time. Glad you ain’t my baby’s daddy!

Those closest to the group all oh’d long and loud. Even Vint stepped back thinking: Maybe now ain’t the time to think of winnings.

Deadweight reached for Angulessa in a quick rage. She was quicker. He ended up with a handful of clip on weave.

Johnson stepped in between as Kiannaboo made a dashing grab for Vint: Vint come on. Is you crazy?

Vint was stunned for a second but even he could see it was time to go as Deadweight now focused all his attention on the hair in his hands.

Deadweight looked up at Johnson as his boys’ pockets started clicking with the sound of safeties being released.

Deadweight: Bish! Don’t play! Whatchu mean?  

Angulessa had the standard ghetto attitude about death. She didn’t care about it. It held no fear for her at all. That’s why she had no problem taunting: If your sorry azz had been around this past month you’d know that I had a paternity test done and Johnson is the baby’s daddy. Bish! She reached around Johnson and smacked him quick. Then she bounced back behind the safety of Johnson who still hadn’t moved beyond the widening of his smile.

Deadweight started to raise the nose of the peace disturbing piece in his pocket when he heard an army of clicks. Johnson’s grill sparkled.

Johnson: You didn’t really think I’d come in here alone now did you? 

Deadweight never took his eyes off Johnson. His boys did the looking for him. Those who valued life, Vint & Kiannaboo among them, had vacated the court.  What was left were guys who Deadweight thought loyal to him. But with an evil man like Deadweight there really was no loyalty to him. Only fear. Johnson gave them something else. Money without fear. They just had to be willing to do what Deadweight did all the time. Trim the folks who weren’t good for him. Deadweight wasn’t good for anyone. But again he wasn’t afraid to die. His boys on the other hand were a different story. They looked around with widening eyes as they realized that several guys from the fixed game now trained peace disturbing pieces on them. They were out gunned two to one. Some of them made peace with their passing if it came to that. Those ready to die with Deadweight were few. Again, loyalty was not something he inspired in his people as Angulessa proved.

Angulessa grinned as she bounced and taunted some more: So whatchu got to say now bish? Huh? What? Say something! I dare you!

Johnson was the luckiest SOB in the world at that moment. He was looking in Deadweight’s eyes when he decided to kill him. As Deadweight aimed upward from his pocket Johnson punched him in the side turning the business end inward toward Deadweight as Deadweight squeezed the trigger. There was a loud pop and a burning sensation and laughter. Angulessa’s laughter.

The fairies stood off to the side watching as Deadweight’s dark soul slipped from his body.

April 11, 2014

When last we saw our ratchet fairies Shawntiqua and her faithful subordinate Booty trouble unfolded on the bball court. And good won out over the evil Deadweight’s plans after all.  Let’s join them now in the aftermath.

Gunshots were ringing out all over the court as Deadweight’s boys fired back at Johnson and his boys. The court was alive with players ducking and diving for cover.  Ever fast on her feet Shawntiqua grabbed an overly enthralled Booty. They ducked down behind a fence. 

Shawntiqua: Booty I swear! Girl you gonna get us de-winged or de-majiced or something!

Booty stared excitedly through the cracks in the old fence: Sorry, boss. I just love a good fight. A bit of excitement.

Shawntiqua sucked her teeth as she looked around for an escape: We’ve had plenty of excitement the past couple days. My boss said revive the belief in majic. She ain’t say nothing about being shot at while we’re at it! 

Everywhere Shawntiqua looked all she saw were closed doors. They needed a doorway. A white doorway.

Booty: Relax, boss. Ain’t like we can get shot. Not when we got the majic.

Shawntiqua: That’s where you’re wrong. We can get shot if the balance of good majic tips the other way. We just got lucky!

Booty: Sounds like good planning to me.

Shawntiqua rolled her eyes as she searched for an escape route.

Booty: We ain’t the only lucky ones here. Johnson is winged and that Angulessa chick ain’t even scratched. She ducked out.

Shawntiqua: And that’s what we’re gonna do right now. She snatched Booty’s arm and headed for the alley.

Booty whined as the abandoned white doorway came into her view: Awww, boss, it was just getting fun!

Shawntiqua: Booty we really gotta work on your idea of fun.

Shawntiqua looked around quickly as the sirens sounded. Everyone was too busy trying to get away before the cops pulled up to notice the two slip through the doorway and twinkle away. Shawntiqua and Booty appeared walking around a peaceful corner. Shawntiqua sat down on some steps to breathe.

Shawntiqua: That’s two days in a row of drama. I’m ready for something simple now. Shawntiqua looked skyward. Y’all hear me.

Booty sat down beside her laughing breathlessly: Well boss we did have that big lottery winning lady. That was relatively easy.

Shawntiqua: One in two days ain’t near enough. The rest of this day need to be simple stuff like helping kids find their dogs or something!

Just then a car tire rolled by them and they heard a curse and a shout: Somebody stop that tire! It’s my only spare!

Then a little boy of about nine ran toward them yelling: I got it, mom!

Shawntiqua looked after the tire. It was headed for the busy street. So was the little boy. 

The voice called again: Tequan stop! But Tequan kept running after the tire with the look of glee that kids get when they run. Shawntiqua stuck out her foot and Tequan went down. Booty picked up a rock and threw it at the tire with a bit of majic. The tire went and so did Tequan. His landing was a lot softer thanks to Shawntiqua. He blinked and he was in her arms none the worse for it.

His mother came huffing up a few moments later: Tequan! Boy you gave me a scare! Tequan looked up at his mother confused.

Boy how many times I got to tell you to pay attention to your surroundings. You was headed for the street. She pointed for emphasis.

Tequan stood up and looked in the direction he had been headed with wide eyes: Sorry momma. I just wanted to get your tire back.

His mother sighed and hugged him before sending him after the tire that was still sitting at the curb. She turned to the fairies.

Thanks for tripping his happy eager little butt. He’s a mess but that’s my heart right there. I’m Shandi by the way. The fairies and Shandi exchanged pleasantries while waiting for Tequan to roll the tire back to them. Then they sent them on their way.

Booty smiled wistfully watching mother and son head back up the street: Well that was definitely easy, huh, boss?

Shawntiqua: Yeah. Let’s hope they stay that way for the remainder of the day. I could use a few more simple solutions.

And someone in the majical realm heard her request and granted it. The remainder of the day they brought simple luck. Momma Dee on First and Fifth street won a scratch off that paid off her hospital bill. Juny down at the impound lot found some old coins worth enough that he was finally able to retire at 68. The coins had been in an old can that had been sitting in the lot for ages. Booty moved it in his way so he’d trip over it and discover it. He cursed first but upon inspection of the coins he blessed his luck. Fourteen year old Tamantha found a bracelet that her grandmother had given her that she thought was lost forever thanks to Shawntiqua. She hadn’t lost it. She’d dropped it and someone she thought was her friend had picked it up. Shawntiqua gave the friend’s conscience a kick.

All in all it was a busy but fun afternoon for our two ratchet fairies.

So ends another #RatchetStoryHour. Stay tuned while I do the live drawing for the winner of the Shawntiqua T-Shirt!

The winner of the Shawntiqua t-shirt is Divasofthe Serengeti BookClub! Congratulations to her!

5/9/14

Greaaaaaaat evening tweeples!  I am back for another #RatchetStoryHour featuring my favorite fairies Shawntiqua and Booty!

I really need to get on the stick and get @Slaus to draw Booty for me. He did Shawntiqua he did a fabulous job. #RatchetStoryHour

I just have to harass and threaten @Slaus with putting him in one of my books and having something unsavory happen to him. Hmm, I may do that anyway! :0) But then his wife the equally talented @TatianaCaldwell would make me feel bad for picking on her hubby.

He can be such a sensitive soul. Decisions, decisions! LOL Well while I’m deciding let me get to storytelling.

Here's hoping you're ready because my muse is! As always let me hit you all with my disclaimer. Disclaimer: #RatchetStoryhour is written by me on the fly and by the seat of my pants/skirt/dress/or whatever I’m wearing at the time. So though I do give it a peruse before I tweet I don’t go into deep editing nor do I have an editor sitting by my side. Just ain’t timely. So I do ask that you forgive any spelling or grammatical errors. This is what I do to warm up my muse so that I can get cracking on my other stories. I know how annoying some folks find spelling and grammatical errors and I just wanted to say sorry in the beginning.

When last we saw our ratchet fairies Shawntiqua and her faithful subordinate Booty they spending the day passing out simple luck to folks. Let’s join them now.

Booty and Shawntiqua recline back on steps in front of an empty house.

Booty: Well, boss, you got your wish. The rest of the day was easy.

Shawntiqua: And I truly appreciated it. What say we knock off the rest of the night and just enjoy a summer evening.

Booty: That would be nice, boss.  But won’t your boss have something to say about it? 

Shawntiqua kissed her teeth. Shawntiqua: Considering all we’ve been through we can use an early night and nobody should have any problems with it.

A voice well known to both fairies questioned: Is that a fact? 

Both fairies groaned. Even in majic there are a few bad apples. The voice belonged to one of them. 

Shawntiqua turned to look at the deglammed fairy behind them in the doorway: Snitchella!

The newcomer sucked her teeth and rolled her eyes: You know my name, Shawntiqua! And I’d appreciate you using it!

Shawntiqua: I’d appreciate you not sneaking up on me and listening into private conversations. Seems we both have problems getting what we want when the other one is around. Since we was here first, why don’t you keep it moving, Snitchella!

The newcomer smiled and nasty little smile at Shawntiqua: Oh. No problem. Maybe I’ll just drop a text to the boss and tell her you checking out early. See if you are still the favorite one then. 

Booty chimed in then: So. Tell her. We been in the middle of a fight last night and

shot at today. Seems like we earned an early exit. Since you don’t seem to have anything else to do, run tell that! Snitchella!

The other fairy exclaimed: My name ain’t Snitchella! It is Belter!

Booty: Yeah & you live up to your name by belting out everybody’s business.

Belter countered: When you’re on majical duty it is the boss’ business what you are doing and not doing!

Shawntiqua cut in: Snitchy what is it YOU are doing here? This ain’t your area. This ain’t even your city. So why are you here bothering us?

Belter smiled nastily again: Well see that is where you are wrong. I just transferred in. So we’ll be working together again.

Shawntiqua gritted her teeth in frustration: What? Why? Who kicked you out this time? 

Belter stomped her feet in anger. Shawntiqua wasn’t far off the mark. Belter took great glee in telling on her fellow fairies shortcomings. So much so that she usually caused more problems than she solved. Though her supervising fairy appreciated some of what she told none of them liked all the snitching she did. Especially the way she did it. It never took long before she was taking all the fun out of being majical beings. So though the areas she covered got more efficient the joy of the being majical creatures was soon lost. Once the joy went out of majical creatures the balance of power shifted back to evil’s side. Belter was good for an area in small doses. Very small doses. 

She knew it too. Part of Belter loved it. Part of her hated it. It was keeping her from becoming a supervising fairy. She had been told that more than once. She just couldn’t stop snitching. It was too much fun getting all the majical beings who weren’t nice to her into trouble.

Belter spoke through clenched teeth: No one kicked me out of anywhere! 

Shawntiqua and Booty didn’t try to hide their disbelief. They both snorted derisively. Booty: Yeah right! Shawntiqua: I agree with Booty. So you gonna tell us what got you tossed or should we just wait for it to filter down through the majical vine lines? 

Belter seethed openly: Those would be lies and only idiots listen to lies! She

was smart enough to stop just short of saying “idiots like you two.” That would have gotten her in more trouble than she got others into.

Shawntiqua: Funny how it is lies when people are talking about you, Snitchy, but the truth when it applies to everyone else.

Shawntiqua dismissed the subject and went back to her original question: None of this however tells us why you are here bothering us.

Booty: Yeah Snitchella, what do you want? 

Belter treated them both to stank face: I’m doing my job is what! Which is more than I can say for you two! 

Booty and Shawntiqua rolled their eyes sighing dramatically. Booty: Snitch! When is the last time you got shot at?

Belter: Well if you two were on your jobs then maybe the day wouldn’t have ended with gun fire.

Booty: We did do our jobs! The good guys got away and one of the bad guys died! What more were we supposed to do, Snitch!

Belter smiled her secret smile again. It was really a pretty smile. It could make you forget for a minute she was a snitch. Belter: Oh, there was much more for you to do. There’s much more for you to do. Your good guys as you see them ain’t safe yet.

Shawntiqua jumped up suddenly worried: What do you mean they ain’t safe yet? Booty jumped in Belter’s face: Yeah! Spill it.

Belter looked at the two of them and grinned in self-satisfaction: I guess you’ll have to go check on ALL of the people you helped and find out. That’s your job. And in case you ain’t noticed I just did my job. Hmm, and with all the simple majical help you gave looks like you won’t be knocking off early. Belter laughed: As a matter of fact it looks

like you might have some overtime to do. 

Shawntiqua: So you’re not even going to tell us which one is still in trouble?

Belter shook her head: But I will give you a hint. It ain’t just one person you helped that’s still in trouble. Belter laughed as she switched back up the steps and twinkled away. 

Booty and Shawntiqua looked at each other worried about their charges. They’d get mad with the Snitch later. 

Shawntiqua: Looks like we got work to do!

And so ends another #RatchetStoryHour! Just in time too because I am starved! lol So I'm going to go get some supper and get at these edits.

5/16/14

Greaaaaaaat evening tweeples!  I am back for another #RatchetStoryHour featuring my favorite fairies Shawntiqua and Booty! Sorry I didn't post a reminder this morning but I was busy writing. Banged out six thousand words on a new story. Yay me!

So though I don't need the warm up I am more than ready to see what my muse has to say about Shawntiqua and Booty. Seriously, I do not prepare anything.  I just start typing and see what comes out of these fingers for the next hour. So let's get to it!

Here's hoping you're ready because my muse is! As always let me hit you all with my disclaimer. Disclaimer: #RatchetStoryhour is written by me on the fly and by the seat of my pants/skirt/dress/or whatever I’m wearing at the time. So though I do give it a peruse before I tweet I don’t go into deep editing nor do I have an editor sitting by my side. Just ain’t timely. So I do ask that you forgive any spelling or grammatical errors. This is what I do to warm up my muse so that I can get cracking on my other stories. I know how annoying some folks find spelling and grammatical errors and I just wanted to say sorry in the beginning.

Well tonight it is not so much a warm up as an I wonder what's gonna happen with my fairies! lol I'm already warmed up. So maybe my earlier writing was a warm up for the fairies. I feel shenanigans afoot. Let’s see if I’m right.

When last we saw our ratchet fairies Shawntiqua and her faithful subordinate Booty they were about to knock off early and chill. Then the snitching fairy showed up by the name of Belter and threw all their happy plans out the window. Let’s join them now.

Shawntiqua chewing on her lips with worry. Booty: Boss, what do you think Snitchy meant?

Shawntiqua shook her head slowly: Well it is obvious that we left something undone but what and who?  Booty started to look worried.

Booty: Yeah because we helped a lot of people today. But everyone seemed in such a good place when we left them.

Shawntiqua: Well not necessarily.  You forget the shoot out already?

Booty’s eyes just got wide: Do you think something happened to Vint and Kiannaboo?  Only one way to find out.

With that the two headed back to the basketball court to see if they could pick up any info before heading to Vint and Kiannaboo’s place.

When Booty and Shawntiqua arrived there was nothing there but blood splotches, crime tape, and a few CSUs. Booty: Wow they’re still here.

Shawntiqua: It was a shoot out, Booty. There’s probably bullets and casings and who knows what other evidence all over the place.

Booty: I hadn’t thought of that. Wow! It is so quiet compared to how the place was jumping last time we were here.

Shawntiqua shook her head in exasperation as she took in Booty’s grin: Booty we really got to work on what you call fun.

Booty kept smiling: Aww boss don’t scold me. It ain’t like innocent blood was spilled today. If it was then we’d be able to sense it.

That was true. There was a certain smell and feel to an area when innocent blood had been spilled. Those who had the majic could feel it.

Shawntiqua: That’s true Booty but still no reason to be having fun at a shoot out!  Booty: Everybody needs a little excitement every now and then. 

From behind them they heard: No wonder you don’t know what’s going on. You’re too busy hanging around crime scenes looking for fun.

Both turned but it was Shawntiqua who practically hissed at her: Snitch! What are you doing here?

Belter replied smugly: Watching two incompetents at work it looks like. 

Booty: Well if you know what’s wrong then just tell us!

Shawntiqua: Yeah or otherwise get lost! You’re a fairy like us! You’re supposed to be on our side and help! This ain’t helping! Make sure you tell the boss that when you go filing your report, Snitch!  

Belter issued a big dramatic sigh: Fine! I’ll give you one!

The two fairies stepped eagerly toward her. Snitchy smiled thinking, I hope they don’t think I’m about to make this easy for them. Not after the way they spoke to me earlier. Humph! They're lucky I’m giving them this much. Belter said: All I’m going to say is, the boy.

Shawntiqua waved her hand encouraging more info: The boy. Which boy and where is he? 

Belter just smiled and sashayed away.

Booty started after her with her claws drawn. Shawntiqua grabbed her and pulled her back. Booty: Boss just let me get a hair, bend a wing, something! Anything! We can’t let her get away with this! There’s an innocent out there in trouble and she’s playing games!

Shawntiqua: I know Booty. But we can’t lay hands on another fairy. You know the rules. We’ll report her to the boss when we get a chance. Right now we got to find out who the boy is and how to help him. And she said he aint the only one in trouble. Seems like we gonna have to split up. I’ll run down the boy. You check on everyone else we helped. 

Booty: Like who boss? We helped a lot of people.

Shawntiqua rolled her eyes: Booty. Didn’t you enter anything in your majical planner? 

Booty looked embarrassed: Sorry boss. I meant to do it later. I just didn’t get a chance. 

Shawntiqua: Booty if you can’t even remember now then how were you going to-nevermind! Here!  Shawntiqua pulled out her own majical planner called a MP for short and held it up for Booty to tap hers against it transferring the names of all the people they had helped in two days. It took less than the blink of an eye. 

Shawntiqua: There. Now I’ll go after all the ones with little boys that we helped. You do the rest. 

Booty: Boss you still took most of the list. 

Shawntiqua: Well you go through your list. When you’re done come find me and help me with whatever I haven’t finished. Good luck! 

Booty: Same to you boss!

The two fairies went in two different directions. Shawntiqua decided to start at the beginning with the first boy they helped. Big Luther’s baby brother, Darwin. Last they had seen of him he was supposed to be on a bus headed to his aunt’s house.

Shawntiqua looked around for a place to glam up. She needed her fairy wings. She spotted a garage and slipped inside. With a thought and a flash her wings appeared and she disappeared to all but small children. It would never do for her to do that in front

of adults. She took off into the wind looking for a train bus that had a bit of wishful majic attached to it. She flew faster than a blink once she picked up his trail. But when she did she found him safe and sound eating at a snack counter waiting for his bus to be ready to load up and continue on its journey. Shawntiqua hung around until he was on the bus again. She made sure he was safe and no strangers had attached themselves to him. But all seemed good with Dawin. 

Shawntiqua thought, well that’s a relief. So it isn’t him. Time to move on.

She rubbed her fairy wings and in another blink she was right back in the garage where she had glammed up for her trip.  Shawntiqua thought as she put away her wings and glam: Not Darwin. Who is next? Not Alizayshia unless she took that fool back already.

I guess I better go check on Vint and Kiannaboo at home. Maybe something happened to Kiannaboo’s son! He made the wish in the first place!

And so ends another #RatchetStoryHour! lol I swear this and lunch time are the fastest hours in my life. :-) I hope you enjoyed the latest snippet. If you missed any part of #RatchetStoryHour be sure to check my blog tomorrow morning.

I usually have it up by noon EST USA. Now, I’m going to get back to my newest story. Enjoy your evening folks! Thanks for tuning in!

5/23/14

Greaaaaaaaaat evening tweeples!  I am back for another #RatchetStoryHour featuring my favorite fairies Shawntiqua and Booty!  I hope you had a great Friday and are looking forward to an even greater evening and weekend! A long weekend to boot. I hope you're doing just what you want to do and enjoying yourself. If not then hopefully you will soon!

So let’s get to it!

As always let me hit you all with my disclaimer. Disclaimer: #RatchetStoryhour is written by me on the fly and by the seat of my pants/skirt/dress/or whatever I’m wearing at the time.

So though I do give it a peruse before I tweet I don’t go into deep editing nor do I have an editor sitting by my side. Just ain’t timely. So I do ask that you forgive any spelling or grammatical errors. This is what I do to warm up my muse so that I can get cracking on

my other stories. I know how annoying some folks find spelling and grammatical errors and I just wanted to say sorry in the beginning.

When last we saw our ratchet fairies Shawntiqua and her faithful subordinate Booty they were searching for an innocent who hadn’t gotten their wish quite right. They didn’t know who but they knew there was more than one and one of them was a little boy. Let’s join them now.

Shawntiqua was headed to Vint's and Kiannaboo's place when she ran into the duo coming down the street. Literally! Shawntiqua was coming around a corner when Kiannaboo’s arm struck her in the nose as she gestured wildly at an angry looking Vint.

Shawntiqa: Ow!  Hey my nose!  

Kiannaboo: Sorry! I’m arguing with my man who is acting like a dang fool! 

Shawntiqua: Understand. Carry on!

Kiannaboo nodded and continued her rant: Vint, you is a complete fool to go around there after that money. You know that right?

Vint didn’t even slow his stride making Kiannaboo run to keep up with him: Go home Kiannaboo. I can handle this myself! I know what I’m doing. 

Kiannaboo: Really? Did you know what you were doing when you let my dead ex set you up? If it hadn’t been for that tramp Angulessa pissing off Deadweight you’d be the one that got taken to the morgue today! Vint kept walking.

Kiannaboo: Vint! Vint! You better listen to me! 

Vint: I been listening to you all day and night. Let me handle this. Think of all that money.

Deadweight is dead! There’s no reason for me not to get my winnings. I want my winnings. I earned them after the way they set me up.

Kiannaboo: Huh! What you fittina earn is a cheap state funeral cause all my money is going to moving me and the kids south!

Vint: All I can do is ask and all they can do is say no! 

Kiannaboo: No they can also bust a cap in your stubborn butt!

Vint: Kiannaboo, go home to the kids. You know how your mother is if you leave them with her too long. 

Kiannaboo threw up her hands in defeat: Fine! Your funeral. She hugged him and kissed him like she thought it was for the last time. That touched him and gave him pause.

Vint didn’t think long as he watched her stalk away: My lucky streak just needs to last a little longer. I won again even though they was cheating. I got away without a scratch on me. Deadweight is no longer a threat. I bet I got a little more luck in me. I just want that money. Then we can start over again in style. 

Shawntiqua shook her head as she followed Vint and sent Booty a text: It’s Vint. He ain’t learned!

She was surprised to see a text back from Booty so fast: I got one too and it is a dozy! What do you want me to do?

Shawntiqua’s text: You’re a grown fairy. Handle it and I’ll handle mine. Whoever gets done last first buys the other dinner and drinks at the Fairy Dome!

Booty’s text: LOL Boss, you’re on! 

Then the two fairies got busy helping their charges. Shawntiqua followed Vint to Books’ place. He was of course a bookie. She watched him go inside. Then she found a place to go invisible. Then she headed back to the door and scratched on it. A face peered out at the busy street but saw no one in front of the door. Shawntiqua loved this part. The face disappeared and immediately she scratched at the door again. A light dragging sound.

Shawntiqua thought: I do love playing the ghost when the occasion calls for it. I ain’t had a chance to do it in a while. Now this is my idea of fun. Scaring non-innocents into doing the right thing. Vint is a big dummy but he wants to do it for the right reasons.

Four times she scratched at the door before the man watching the door finally opened it. She shoved the door back in his face and breezed in. She got there just in time. Books’ enforcer had the drop on Vint. It didn’t look like Vint was long for this world. Shawntiqua shook her head.

Shawntiqua thought: Vint you better be lucky that Deandreboo made that dang wish. I’d let you go down a victim of your own silliness. But even if he don’t know it yet, Deandreboo needs a man in his life who knows at least a little about it. You better do right from now on!

Then Shawntiqua got down to being an awesome ghost. The man on the door came running in: Books! Something just brushed past me!

Books looked around and saw nothing amiss: What kind of something? And who is on the door, Legs?

Legs: Nobody. I locked it but Books something pushed in the door and- Books cut him off and cussed him out for leaving the door.

Legs: But Books-  

Books menaced closer: Don’t Books me! Get back to the door or Vint ain’t the only one being carried out of here tonight!

That got Legs moving back toward the door. Shawntiqua thought: Oh no Legs. You staying here for the show. It takes at least one person to believe in ghosts to make the rest believe and you’re the perfect one for this job. 

She pushed him back into Books. Books pushed Legs away from him: What’s wrong with you, Legs? You been drinking on the job? 

Legs: No Books! Honest it wasn’t me!

Shawntiqua deepened her voice: Honest Books it wasn’t him! 

Everyone and everything stopped, looking around. Books wasn’t scared yet.

Books: What’s going on? Is this a joke? He looked meanly at Legs and the three other men in the room with him and Vint.

Books: Y’all know how I feel about practical jokes and my money. Somebody else want to be stretched out next to Vint when we bury him?

Books pulled a piece from behind his back. 

Shawntiqua said in her affected voice: I don’t think so Books!

Shawntiqua did a karate chop to his wrist and gun fell from his fingers. Now Books was getting nervous. 

Books: Who did that?

The men shrugged not understanding what he meant. They thought he’d dropped his gun by accident. Books looked at Legs.

Books: What’s going on? How’d you do that Legs? 

Legs looked at him helplessly: Do what Books? I’m standing over here.

Shawntiqua thought: Not for long you ain’t. Shawntiqua picked up the gun in front of stunned eyes. Even Vint looked scared now.

She took the clip out and started pulling out bullets and throwing them at the men who stood around stunned. 

Books: It’s a trick or something! I’m being punked! 

Shawntiqua said: You’re a punk alright Books! Pay the man his money or face the consequences!

Books looked at Vint: Oh so this is your gag! I don’t know how you did it but I’m about to put an end to it and you! Boys, do him!

Vint tried to shake his head but he was too scared. Lucky him he had a fearless fairy on his side. Shawntiqua started kicking backsides and scaring the literal pee out of Legs. Legs took off running and never looked back. He ran smack into the door and knocked himself out. The others could now feel a mischievous presence and were aiming their guns all over the place. Any minute someone was going to get shot.

Shawntiqua: Pay the man or face the consequences! Heed my words! This is your last warning or you shall join the ranks of the dead.

Shawntiqua thought: Especially with the way you’re aiming those guns. All of them are pointed at everyone but Vint!

Books was not quite convinced. He knew something was up but wasn’t ready to believe in ghosts! What Shawntiqua did next removed all doubt.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand so ends another #RatchetStoryHour! LOL Ain’t I a stinker? But it really is now 8:00 pm EST USA. 8:01 actually and I’m hungry! LOL I’m going to get dinner and drinks. I hope you have a great evening and wonderful weekend.

5/30/14

Greaaaaaaaaaaat FRIDAY evening tweeples! Welcome back for another #RatchetStoryHour. I hope you had a great day and are now settling back for an even better evening! I know I am right after I see what happens tonight. So I am not going to hold you with a lot of chitchat. Let’s get into it. 

As always let me hit you all with my disclaimer. Disclaimer: #RatchetStoryhour is written by me on the fly and by the seat of my pants/skirt/dress/or whatever I’m wearing at the time.

So though I do give it a peruse before I tweet I don’t go into deep editing nor do I have an editor sitting by my side. Just ain’t timely. So I do ask that you forgive any spelling or grammatical errors. This is what I do to warm up my muse so that I can get cracking on

my other stories. I know how annoying some folks find spelling and grammatical errors and I just wanted to say sorry in the beginning.

When last we saw our ratchet fairies Shawntiqua and her faithful subordinate Booty they had found at least two of their problems. We left Shawntiqua handling hers while having a bit of fun while Booty’s problem was still a mystery. Let’s join Shawntiqua now.

Shawntiqua was loathed to do it but she used some of her glam points to rattle the room. Chairs fell over, tables too. Shawntiqua being regional boss of the monied fairies could smell money and she could tell where Books hid his.  She aimed glammor at a spot in

the wall and then it was raining dead presidents all over the place! Guns fell from greedy fingers. They were scared but money calms some.

Books started yelling: Look here spook! Stop it! Stop it right now! His men were jumping around trying to pick up the money. The spook seemed harmless to those who only respected bullets. They were convinced it was a ghost but far from convinced it could do them harm.

Shawntiqua couldn’t believe they hadn’t run out like Leggs. She thought: Dang! What’s it going to take to get these fools to give up the cash to Vint?

The room in the rowhouse continued to rattle around. Money continued to float and Books continued to tell her to stop.

Books looked at Vint still calmly on the floor smiling at all the money floating around him. He just knew that he was getting it all. Books rushed over to him and slipped on a pile of fresh bills and down he went. His men stopped stunned. They were all holding fists full of cash. In order to help their boss they’d have to drop the cash. Books lay frustrated and angry. He thought sitting up: I am going kill Vint. Ghost or no ghost. 

Unfortunately for Books his gun was buried under much swirling cash and fallen furniture just like his stooges’ guns. He thrashed around for a moment before giving up and yelling: Fine! I’ll strangle him with my bare hands!

Books made another grab for Vint. Vint wasn’t that awed, he ducked and Books went face down in the money. Shawntiqua was having a good laugh. 

One of Vint’s men, Boogie, dropped the cash he was holding thinking as he backed out the room: That’s twice the ghost knocked Books down.

Boogie thought: Books done done some bad stuff in this house. No telling who that is done come back for him.

Boogie wasn’t alone in his thinking. There had been seven other guys with Books. Four were following Boogie’s example. Three remained still unconvinced that they were in danger. Danger of being harmed? No. Good fairies would never hurt someone even for an innocent. But they could be as naughty as their power and experience would allow them. Shawntiqua had a lot of experience and a bit of power.

She thought with a mischievious mischievous grin: The party is just getting started. She never liked the sagging pants look and targeted the only guy whose pants were sagging. She took his belt so his pants could sag down to his ankles. His belt whipped off and threatened him by unseen hands  he yelped thinking it was his long dead grandpa comeback to get him for continuing to hang with the wrong crowd. 

Saggy pants pleaded: Don't beat me grandpop! I’ll be good! I’m going! I’m going now! 

On the floor Books was fighting to get up but he kept slipping and falling in all the cash on the floor. Shawntiqua was trying to threaten but she couldn’t stop laughing as saggy pants tripped over Books.

Things went from bad to worse as saggy pants landed butt first on Books’ head and his beef & beans burrito lunch had him releasing toxic fumes into Books’ face. Shawntiqua grabbed her nose which helped her stopped laughing. Vint did the smart thing and rolled across the cash and out of reach. 

He sat up holding his own nose at the smell he said nasily: You ready to give up Books and give me what’s rightfully mine?

Shawntiqua stilled the room to wait for Books’ answer. Money hung suspended in the air. The two other men stood in grossed out shock while Books fought for air. Well fresh air. Vint had to ask the question again and louder. Books paused looking at the men left: Get me up from here!

Dembs was the closet to him. He stepped carefully across the cash. Shawntiqua thought: Will they never learn?

She sent a chair to knock him to the floor. She knocked the other one down too thinking: Saves time. 

Vint asked: Well Books?

The other two men were begging now. They’d felt the power. The ghost could harm them if it wanted to, they thought. It was giving them a chance to do the right thing. 

Dembs said: Boss just give the man his money. 

Books was a tough guy but even he knew when he was beat. Saggy pants was still farting. Books finally got free of him and told him to get out: And don’t bring your stanking butt back here ever again!

Saggy did the best he could to get out of the room. His pants were still tangled around his ankles. He finally just took off his pants and crawled out of the room. As he got to a stable place to stand he said: I promise you grandpa you won’t ever have to haunt me again.

I’m going legit from this day forward. And he did. He worked three jobs and opened his own shop that sells custom oils. He got married and had 3 kids. He’s very happy now and his grandpa can finally brag on him as he sits around Heaven playing dominoes dominos.

Books got up and started gathering up cash to pay Vint. He said as he counted out his winnings: You take this money Vint and you disappear. I better not ever see your face near another gambling place. Not even Vegas! 

Vint’s eyes gleamed happily: You ain’t got to worry about me. This was always about my family. That’s the only reason I came to get my winnings. We will be gone from here soon. You’ll never see us again.

Books grunted disbelievingly as he plucked money out of the air. Shawntiqua hadn’t unfrozen it and wouldn’t until Vint got his winnings. For Books’ part he had heard it all before. But Vint would be the first to do it right. He got his money and headed straight home.

Shawntiqua took Books’ and his men’s guns after Vint left. She dropped them, still quite invisible, at the front desk much to the officers’ on duty surprise. Guns don’t float. But these not only floated in but had finger prints and crimes attached to them. Books and his guys were rounded up that night and spent the rest of their lives in jail. All except saggy pants.

He’d never killed anyone though he’d roughed a few up. His gun had no prints on it and no body.

Shawntiqua texted Booty as she deglammed: I’m done here. You need any help?

And that is the end of another #RatchetStoryHour! It is 8:05 pm tweeples. Was anyone going to tell me that I had gone over time?

6/6/14

Greaaaaaaaaaaaat Friday evening! Welcome back for another #RatchetStoryHour! Welcome to my new followers! I’m really excited about tonight because after #RatchetStoryHour I will draw the names of the winners in my contest! *bouncing* So the sooner I get started the sooner I draw the winners! As always let me hit you all with my disclaimer first and foremost!

Disclaimer: #RatchetStoryhour is written by me on the fly and by the seat of my pants/skirt/dress/or whatever I’m wearing at the time. So though I do give it a peruse before I tweet I don’t go into deep editing nor do I have an editor sitting by my side. Just ain’t timely. So I do ask that you forgive any spelling or grammatical errors. This is what I do to warm up my muse so that I can get cracking on my other stories. And am I working on a dozy today. LOL I know how annoying some folks find spelling and grammatical errors and I just wanted to say sorry in the beginning. So with that out of the way let’s get to it shall we?

When last we saw our ratchet fairies Shawntiqua and her faithful subordinate Booty they were off on their own looking for the err uhhh ratchet that had been thrown into their well meaning schemes and plans for the people under their care. Shawntiqua had cleaned up one mess. She had set off to find Booty to see what she was up to and if she needed help.

Let’s join them now!  

Booty texted back: I don’t know about needing help, boss. But if you need a good laugh you might want to stop by.

Shawntiqua rolled her eyes and neck dramatically thinking, That darn Booty is somewhere cutting up when she should be finishing up So we can cut out of work and go relax at the Glamorama! 

Shawntiqua huffed as she texted back: Booty will you quit fooling around! Do you need help or not? There was a long pause. So long Shawntiqua started to worry. Especially remembering Booty’s love of violent drama.

Finally Booty texted back: Naw, boss, I got it. 

And indeed Booty did have it. She had it under control. It was her laughter that was out of control thanks to the situation she had walked into. It involved the old man, Juny, who she had helped find the old coins at the impound lot. Booty watched him dancing around his old wife who thought him a crazy old man and was ready to call the ‘amulance’ as she kept saying on him.

His wife’s name was Clara: Juny, you calm down this instant and tell me why are you are so sam hill happy!

Juny: I keep telling you Clara! I hit the jackpot! I found some old coins that I know is worth a fortune! Now we can retire and move south like we always wanted to.

Clara didn’t look convinced: You mean like you always wanted to. I’m content to stay right chere!

Juny shook his head laughing. His happiness warmed Booty’s heart but she knew that there was trouble afoot. It was coming in waves off his wife.

Juny said: Clara you just want to sit around here and wait on that boy of yours! He’s 47! He ain’t a boy no more! He’s a grown man!

At the mention of a boy Booty perked right up thinking, A 47 year old man who acts like a boy? Yup! There’s definitely trouble here.

Clara pouted: You never liked my son, Juny. I don’t know why. He does the best he can!

Juny snorted: Yeah he does the best he can to work your nerves. And your pockets. We could have retired years ago if you didn’t keep funding his crazy schemes! Now we can. Let’s go enjoy our senior years Clara. We ain’t got forever in this life. Whatchu say Clara? A little house in Florida? Juny pulled her close.

Clara asked tentatively thinking about a nice little bungalow for two far away from the city: What about North Carolina? I’d like that.

Juny smiled: Just as long as it is near somewhere I can take a little skiff out in the morning and catch us some fish for dinner. I catch them and you cook them!

Clara laughed: Juny you forget I was always better at catching fish than you.

Juny said: Then whoever catches the biggest fish gets to relax while the other does the cleaning and cooking. Deal?

Clara: Deal!

Their joy was to be short lived. Booty could feel the dark cloud getting closer as the two sat together looking over the coins and searching for prices on the internet. Then there was a rattle at the door and Clara was jumping up to run down the hall exclaiming: Lavon! We are

moving to the beach! Juny and Booty groaned together.

Juny grumbled: Now why is she telling him our business?

He sighed heavily and quickly gathered up the coins to hide away. He put them in his strong box in the false bottom that even his wife knew nothing about. Then he took a

bunch of change and put it in the strong box that his wife knew all about. So did her son Lavon. He already knew what was going to happen. It had happened too many times before. By the time she got finished babbling to Lavon he was back in his seat at the kitchen table. Lavon came in looking guarded. Juny smiled perfunctorily.

Lavon: What’s this mama saying about a jackpot of coins?

Juny shrugged nonchalantly: Nothing.

Lavon: It don’t seem like nothing to her. Especially with her talking about y’all moving to the beach.

Lavon didn’t like that one bit. He was nervous. His mother’s home, really Juny’s as he had it before he married Clara, was his fall back. As long as she lived, he knew he had a place to stay when his chick of the week/month/year finally put him out. He couldn't afford to let

His mother get out of town.

Lavon thought, Though I wouldn’t mind living at the beach. But knowing these two they’ll be in some old folks Community where they’ll be nothing but a bunch of old folks just like them. Time for me to be in need of a lot of cash. That ain’t a lie.

Juny said: It is enough to do that plus with our pensions WE will be just fine.

Lavon and Clara caught the emphasis on the WE. Clara began to worry as she saw the look on her son’s face.

She rushed to reassure him: Now Juny, I’m sure we’ll have something to spare. You know how bad this job market is and with Lavon’s babies mamas trying to wring every last cent out of him, he needs some help from time to time. We’ll have enough for that, right?

Juny shook his head: Clara, we will need whatever we can get to make our evening years

comfy. I’m sure Lavon understands that. Right, my MAN?

Lavon laughed nervously: Well yeah. And actually, I got an idea how I’ll be just fine

after y’all move.

His mother looked at him hopefully even if she doubted in every part of her being. Clara asked: How’s that Larvon?

Lavon sat down at the table as Clara went to stand behind Juny: Well, this house is paid for, right?

Juny’s shoulders twitched. Clara nodded already dreading what was about to come out of his mouth.

Lavon continued: Well deed the house to me then I can rent it out for profit. I’ll have to put in some work to make separate apartments.

Juny snorted at the idea of Lavon working.

Lavon asked: Well what else are you going to do with it?

Juny was quick to answer: Sell it like people with sense. We will need every coin for our new home.

Clara looked uncertain. This idea of Lavon’s sounded plausible unlike his others. Clara: Well do you really think we’ll need to sell Juny?

Juny reminded them in his own way that this house was his before he married Lavon’s mother by saying: Yes I WILL need to sell.

Lavon got mad and Clara was hurt as she said: Oh Juny. Why do you have to be like that?

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand believe it or not, so ends another #RatchetStoryHour! LOL So let me make the drawing now! Hold on!

Third prize of the choice of baseball caps goes to Michelle Gordon! Wooot wooot!  And Second Prize of her choice of t-shirts goes to Barbara Primous Jackson! Congratulations Barbara!  *drumroll* Aaaaaaaaaaaand the First Prize of choice of baseball cap and t-shirt goes to JILL BRYANT!!!! Congratulations Jill!!!!

Congratulations to all the winners!  As always, I love giving away free stuff so stay tuned for your next chance to get some free loot! Oops! I almost forgot! Look at the my inspiration for Booty drawn by @DjDt3 Isn't she gorgeous?

 Along side her boss Shawntiqua.

Gorgeous and up to ratchetly good fun! lol Don't you think these two make a great pair?  Okay, now I'm really going to go sign off until tomorrow! Have a great one tweeples!

06/13/14

Greaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat Friday evening tweeples and people! Welcome back for another #RatchetStoryHour! I am glad to be back here again to entertain on the fly with fun and shenanigans!  There will be shenanigans, too! B4  Before I get started let me show you my inspiration for my lovely fairies . Shawntiqua you see always. Drawn by @Slaus

And here is the lovely Booty drawn by @DjDt3 pic.twitter.com/iuHodj6snR

And now without further adieu let’s get started! As always let me hit you all with my disclaimer first and foremost! Disclaimer: #RatchetStoryhour is written by me on the fly and by the seat of my pants/skirt/dress/or whatever I’m wearing at the time. So though I do give it a peruse before I tweet I don’t go into deep editing nor do I have an editor sitting by my side. Just ain’t timely. So I do ask that you forgive any spelling or grammatical errors. This is what I do to warm up my muse so that I can get cracking on my other stories. And am I working on a dozy today. LOL I know how annoying some folks find spelling and grammatical errors and I just wanted to say sorry in the beginning. So with that out of the way let’s get to it shall we?

When last we saw our ratchet fairies Shawntiqua and her faithful subordinate Booty they were still on assignment trying to figure out what went wrong so they could fix it and go chill. Shawntiqua had cleaned up one mess and put a charge back on the right path. Booty was in the midst of doing the same. Let’s join her now.

Juny: Be like what, Clara? I worked hard for this house. Now your son wants me to just give him this house and let him make a profit off it?

Clara started to plead but Lavon spoke up: Mama, he is right. I guess I should at least split the profits with him since he did buy the house.

Juny and Booty thought the same exact thing, You guess?  Booty added mentally, That begro! That’s Booty speak for begging negro.

Juny: You guess you should split the profits? Well, just for sake of argument, what would my part of the split be?

Lavon looked around the kitchen like he was inspecting it while he thought up a number that didn’t sound greedy. To him at least.

Lavon: Well you got to think I’m going to have to put in some work to get this place split into three apartments.

Juny asked: Three?

Lavon replied: Yeah. Upstairs, first floor, and then the basement. I’ll take the top floor to keep an eye on our investment.

Juny nodded: So that is one apartment not being rented. 

Lavon warmed to his topic: Well it is for the best really. Landlord on the premises will keep the tenants in line better. You know you never know who you’ve rented to until they’re in your property. With me on hand I can make sure they don’t tear the place up. 

Juny thought, Yeah but who is gonna keep you from tearing the place up? Juny: You still ain’t said what your cut and my cut will be. Though I believe a free apartment is part of your cut. Right?

Lavon looked shook for a second: But I’m the live in landlord and handy man! So I’m really working for you for free!

Clara their forgotten watcher looked between her son and husband anxiously. She knew this idea was not going to meet with Juny’s approval.

Juny: Working? Boy, I-! Never mind. Get to the point Lavon. How much? 

Lavon stalled some more. He had no idea how much to take. Walking in on them that day was just by surprise. He hadn’t had time to come up with a plan. That’s why he said: 80% for me and 20% for you.

Juny and Clara exclaimed together: 80% for you! 

Lavon smiled curiously at his mother. He hadn’t counted on her being against him.

Lavon: Well yeah! I mean, I’m gonna be on duty 24/7 as the handy man. I need to pay for health insurance for myself. I gotta get a retirement plan. Plus get back my money on renovations. 

Clara sat down sadly knowing a fight was in the works. But Juny wasn’t in a fighting mood. He was not going to let Lavon steal his joy. He’d worked too hard for it.

Juny: Lavon, thanks but no thanks. I’ll sell the place, turn my profit that way and me and your mother will move south.

Lavon saw the set of Juny’s jaw. He’d seen it many times in the past. Normally his mother could help him out. But he saw from the look on her face that even she wasn’t buying into his foolishness that night. Lavon: So y’all just gonna up and leave me alone, huh?

Clara sighed with relief. There was acceptance in Lavon’s voice. But his words worried her. 

Clara: Well, Lavon perhaps you’ll settle down with a nice woman now. Have a family of your own. I keep telling you that I want some grandbabies. You can get started on that.

Juny grunted. Lavon shot him an evil eye while Clara sent him a pleading one. Booty was of a mind to side with Juny.

Lavon replied tersely: All that takes money, mama. Which you know I don’t have any. 

Juny jumped in: I can talk to Floyd down at the yard about you taking over my job when I retire. That is if you are interested in working for your keep? The gauntlet was down.

Three pair of eyes wondered what Lavon’s answer would be. Lavon: That ain’t enough money to get a wife and family. You know how materialistic women is these days. That little bit of money I’d make there wouldn’t be enough to get married and raise a family on.

Juny: Yet it is enough to pay off this house, feed your mama and me and sometimes you with. What’s wrong with getting a second job until you can do better? The yard can just be your starting point. You ain’t got to work there forever. Just until something better comes through.

Clara looked at her son hopefully. He looked back truculently. This was not going as he had planned. Silence filled the room as a cloaked Booty kissed her teeth. Booty thought, Fool! Say something! And stay the right dang thing or else!

Lavon was too spoiled to say the right thing: So now you want me to work myself into the ground? Man! This how you do me?

Clara began quietly: Now Lavon that sounds like a good idea. What’s wrong with working an extra job until you do better?

Lavon: I’ll tell you what’s wrong! I don’t want to end up old and sour like your husband! I ain’t got to take this ill treatment.

Lavon turned to storm away. Booty wasn’t quite having it. She moved a chair in his way. He tripped over it and landed on the floor tipping over a forgotten bucket of mop water. Juny laughed out loud while Clara jumped up to help her son. Booty’s eyes widened in amused surprise.

Booty thought, Ooops! I hope none of the higher ups saw that! I didn’t mean for all that to happen. As she watched him slipping in the Dirty water she couldn’t help but join Juny laughing thinking, Well it does serve him right! Got a job handed to him and still ain’t happy.

She looked at Clara and realized that she would be the deciding factor in whether or not she and Juny had a happy retirement. Booty thought, I just need to make sure Lavon gives her his blessing to go on and enjoy her evening years as Juny put it.

And I think I know just what to do. 

Lavon finally slipped and slid his way out of the dirty water glaring at his mother and Juny.

Lavon: You think that’s funny, old man? 

Juny: Best laugh I’ve had in a long time, Lavon. That’s your comeuppance.

Lavon sneered: You and your big words! I don’t need your help! I don’t need either of you! Go on and go down south and dry up alone!

Before Clara could try to make nice with him he stormed from the kitchen and slammed the door on the way out. 

Booty wasn’t far behind. She had a few more tricks to play on him. She thought as he stomped wetly down their walkway: Oh this is just the beginning.